GUEST: Arthur Pendelton
"I am a married man. I do not know why I spent the entire night dreaming of a six-armed succubus feeding me lightning bolts, but I woke up smelling like sulfur and patchouli. My wife is furious. I demand a refund and to be moved to a lower floor immediately."
"My deepest apologies, Arthur. We have applied a lead-lined spiritual dampener to your side of the partition. I have comped your breakfast." — M.V.
GUEST: SELMA ✨
"Look, if the dimensional wards in this place weren't made of literal wet cardboard, my astral projections wouldn't leak into the hallway. Tell the guy in Room 11 he's welcome, by the way.
Also, Malachor, be a doll and send up more ice? The summoning circle is overheating the mini-fridge again."
[Note from Diner: I am NOT taking ice to Room 12. The last time I went in there, the floor was covered in frogs and she tried to read my palm. Let her burn.] - R.
GUEST: WALK-IN (Recorded by R.)
"Guest left screaming at 3:00 AM. Said the hallway carpet turned into a river of hands and the neon sign started whispering their childhood secrets. I told them to take the stairs. I'm not mopping up existential dread today."